Tuesday, 27 September 2016

TIFU by realising how much time I've wasted in the past 12 years.

So it has just occurred to me that I have wasted a considerable chunk of my young life, with very little to show for it.

Sitting on my computer, watching movies, TV shows and playing games has been one of my favourite things to do for as long as I've had a computer. I would finish school or work and I would come home and jump straight into my seat, click, click , boom, total immersion. A few years ago I was diagnosed with depression and started taking medication. I lost most of my interest in the things I used to love, even the outside world didn't seem as real to me. I kept taking the pills until about 4 months ago, where I also picked up a job with more hours and a gym membership. I started to feel good for the first time in years, reality started to feel sharp again.

 

This leads me back to tonight, sitting once again in my comfy chair, staring at my computer monitor(s) watching movies and playing games...and it hits me. Most of my time has been sat in a chair, watching some pixels. I realise I don't even think about when I need to blink, or when I re-adjust myself to get more comfortable. How uncomfortably warm my room is becoming or even any of the ambience of the world around me. My default nature is complete immersion in whatever is happening on the screen and anything outside of that doesn't feel as real.

I'm not living my life at all, I'm 28 years old and I haven't hardly done anything in life. You see pictures of places all around the world, on facebook, on other peoples instagram feeds and it just feels like it's just a made up story or place, not somewhere you can actually visit.

When did we become so glued to our gadgets that we forgot that there is a life outside of these four walls?

 

I fucked up guys, can't get those 12 years back now.

Just a weird thought, yet it's so sobering.



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