This incident occurred towards the end of last year and to date is the shittiest thing that has happened to me. As usual my mums cooking up a storm in the kitchen, fucking curry spice flying everywhere and chopping vegetables like a mad man. Just imagine inspector gadget with a cute ass pink apron. Note: My mum loves spicy shit. Anyway dinner gets served and being a male teenager, I absolutely fucking inhaled this green chicken curry, going back for 2nd's and even 3rd's. You can already see where this story is heading... A couple hours pass and it felt like Mount. Vesuvius just re-awoke and exploded from my asshole. I go to bed, feeling satisfied that I probably won’t need to shit for another month after that ordeal.
Next morning, I get to school late as usual. Walking on the path to the senior courtyard to drop my bags off I get a slight urge to fart. I think "fuck it, why not" and let it rip, thinking I flushed my whole system the previous night. But my god I have never been so wrong in my life. Before I could suck it back up, a warm substance was already wedged between my butt cheeks. In fear and desperation, I stood completely upright and froze in the middle of the path. Realising that my whole school career was in jeopardy, I threw my bags onto the bag rack and waddled as fast as I could to the men’s toilet. Just as I thought I was in the clear, I turned the corner to find my whole cohort in a senior meeting with the principal and about 10 other teachers. (Form teachers, Vice principals etc.) Me being the dumbass I am, forgot that there was a big senior meeting that morning. So here is this 6’1 guy, perched up like a meerkat clenching its ass. Shuffling his feet across the ground with the most halfassed, tensed and guilt written smile on his face, innocently walking in late to a senior meeting with 130 people. There was absolutely no escape after receiving what was scariest eye piercing stare I have ever received from the principal. What ensued was the most traumatizing and uncomfortable 15 minutes of my fucking life.
Thankfully, apart from looks of complete wonder and concern from my peers I bolted to the toilet ripping my underwear off. After assessing the damage, the chance of reusability was nil, I had to free-ball. However just to top of my luck on that fine morning, I happened to be wearing the shortest pants I owned, causing my genitalia to hang out the side when I sat down. Staring into my shit stained underwear in despair I just felt like crying. I thought about calling home but of course I left my phone in my room, just as my world was falling apart I remembered my buddy leaves his phone in his bag. I walked out of the toilet trying to act as if I hadn’t just spent 40 minutes furiously wiping my ass and having a mental breakdown. After doing a quick double look I shoved my underwear into the bin hoping no-one would notice a pair of shit covered underwear sitting in there. My mother being the saving grace she is and feeling slightly responsible for what happened, turned up with a new pair, handing them to from the car which looked nothing short of one of the shadiest drug deals ever. I then proceeded to have severe anxiety all day, thinking that someone might uncover my underwear.
If you didn’t pick it up this was in my SENIOR year of high school.
TL;DR: Ate way too much curry, shit my pants in my senior year
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