Recently a friend of mine passed away very suddenly, someone I met online and unfortunately never met in real life. It's really hard to describe our relationship, but, to sum it up from my point of view, he really was the only best friend that I've ever had.
Now I'm not one for 'real life' friends much, I've had plenty of them, but the friendship usually felt kinda forced and I found myself bouncing between different circles of friends my entire life, never accepted by a group long enough to remain a part of that group.
Online friends however, I can't quite put it into words but I'm sure there's people out there who get it. They're unique, something you just can't replicate in 'real life'. And I was fortunate enough to meet such a special guy, someone who really made a big difference to my life without even knowing it.
We had so much in common, worked and studied in the same areas of IT, had all the same mannerisms, liked to go and do the same things outside of gaming too so we were always talking about our days and how they compared.
God I miss him so much. We talked every day, played pretty much every day, and it was all taken for granted. You really don't know what you have until you lose it.
It sucks that he's been taken away from me, I don't even know how to grieve considering no one I know gets how it feels to lose an Internet friend, they're all so different from me. Plus no one around where I live knew him, so it's not like I could just go have a beer with some guys and 'remember the good times' to help deal with this. I'm just sat at my PC, waiting for him to come online for one more game.
I can't even bring myself to remove him from my Steam friends, every time I see his offline status it breaks my heart. I just want him to come back on Teamspeak one more time, there's so much I wish I could have told him.
This experience has pretty much destroyed my whole passion for gaming and I don't know if it'll ever come back, but now I know for sure that I was never excited to come home and play games, I was excited to come home and talk with my best friend.
I don't even know why I'm posting this, I guess this is how I'm dealing with the whole grieving process, or just asking for advice from anyone else who's been in a similar situation, I don't know how to handle this by myself.
Goodbye, Internet friend <3
by ciscoislyf http://ift.tt/1LC3ync
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