Unlike most of the fuck ups that I usually read about on here, this one actually happened today.
However, To fully understand the significance of this fuck up, I must go back several months and begin from the evening of 29th September 2015, what a glorious day that was. For those of you who are out of the loop (or are normal) this for you was a completely insignificant, average day. But not to me. Oh no, to (the gadget loving, technology nerd) me this was the day I had been looking forward to all year, this was the moment I had been dreaming and fantasising about for a very long time, this was finally the day Google was going to announce their new Nexus phones. I wanted this day to come more than I wanted my next breath. I remember anxiously waiting and constantly hitting the refresh button on the YouTube page, hoping and praying the stream would start working so the event can begin. After what seemed like an eternity it begins, and my word what a show it was. Never before or since have I ever even seen a Porno that was as boner inducing as this event was. The 90 minute programme was pure joy and went by in the flash of an eye and by the end of it I was speechless. You know when you've bigged up something in your mind for ages, and because of this there's no way it can possibly live up to your expectations. Well this was different, not only was this as good as I was expecting it to be, but a few unexpected features made it better beyond my wildest dreams. I was in love.
The second the preorders opened I was on the site like a madman trying to beat the queues to place an order, so I would have the honour of being amongst the very first lucky ones to get their hands on this majestic beast. (you think Apple fanboys are bad, you've obviously never met a Nexus one) But disaster, the gold version 6P I had been lusting over will not be coming to the UK, in fact it will only be available in Japan. "Damn those Japanese, what do they have that I don't?" I thought to myself. Heartbroken, I decide to order the aluminium version thinking it'll be good enough, kind of like how when you get stuck with that chubby girl who's really funny and sweet but not the most attractive looking on a night out. It's not what I came for, but I could do a lot worse. Besides it's what's on the inside that really counts. It just wasn't my day. I placed the order and thought the matter had been closed.
But no, a couple of weeks later a friend ITK informed me that demand for the gold version is so high Google will actually be bringing it to the UK afterall, but it will not be here for several months yet. The dilemma I was in was unbelievable, it was a bit like choosing between 2 guys and deciding which of them gets to steal my wife. Either choice had a lot of pain attached to it. I barely ate or slept for days. After a lot of deliberation, I decided to go with my heart and decided to wait for the gold version. As Biggie Smalls put it: "Only make moves if your heart's in it".
The next few months where amongst the longest and most difficult I have ever experienced in my short 21 year life. The constant waiting was eating me up, and seeing other countries such as India and the US getting theirs before me almost made me mad. Why them?. I decided it wasn't healthy for me to visit r/nexus6p anymore as I was always leaving that subreddit hating my nexus free life. This decision was a wise move as it made the waiting a lot more bareable, but the pain was always there each and every time I used my oneplus one (a fine phone in its own right, but it wasn't the 6P). Several weeks later I received a notification on my phone stating that I had been mentioned in a post by one of the regular ITK posters from /nexus6p (this guy may aswell be a fucking prophet). I click on the link and the joy I felt as I read the title: "Gold Nexus 6P out in the UK" was indescribable. I instantly order the gold 64gb version and do my victory dance (that is unsurprisingly performed whilst naked) to celebrate the joy that is about to come into my life. After months of disappointments, pain and impatiently waiting for the gold Nexus 6P to be finally released in the UK, mine was finally on its way. For some reason the final days were the longest, each day felt like a week at this point. (much like this post probably does, but trust me It's about to end)
I finally received mine yesterday and holy cow it is beautiful. In my haste to order I forget to order a case and later decided not to buy a case for it as the gold is an absolutely stunning shade. Seriously if you like gold things, I promise you, there is a 100% chance you'll get an erection when you first see this... Especially if you're a girl. Holding this phone for the first time felt as good as (I imagine) it feels to hold your first child for the first time. I promised myself that I would be "extra careful" this time, since my history with keeping phones safe isn't exactly confidence inspiring. To say I am clumsy would be like saying Ray Charles had 20/30 vision or that James May occasionally needs to look at a map. Below is a list of phones and the things I've damaged on them.
Nexus 4, smashed back and screen
iPhone 5 smashed screen
Nexus 6 smashed screen x2
Oneplus one, every corner of the bezel severely dented. Camera no longer worked due to drops.
But not this time I thought to myself, I am a changed person, I am a young, intelligent, sophisticated man that is in control of my own destiny. Just as long as I take extra care and be careful, What could possibly go wrong?
This brings me to this morning, I am late to uni (as I am most days) and I am running to my car with my laptop bag in one hand, my car keys, my phone (the new Nexus 6P) and a book in the other. I attempt to put my naked phone in my coats inside pocket so I can unlock my car's doors easier. An easy task that I probably do at least twice a day, especially if I had the time to think it through. But I miss the coats pocket and I release the phone from a height of about 5.5 feet. "Splat!!", I hear the very familiar sound that I dread to hear, the sound I've heard so often before and my heart sinks instantly knowing what just happened. I slowly bend down praying and begging "please don't let it broken" but I know the damage had already been done. I look down and see that it landed on its back. Oh great I think to myself, the screens not broken. But fate can be a very cruel mistress, I turn the phone over and the once beautiful golden back has got several very deep marks and dents in it, especially around the corners. It's over, it's beauty was only meant to last less than 24 hours in my hands. After literally waiting months for the gold Nexus 6P, it's in my destiny to never show off its beauty. Seeing this sight and having this realisation, I weep as if I've lost a loved one.
TLDR: I learnt to never leave your house naked, danger and pain can strike at any time, Yes it can happen to YOU again.
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